I am the mom of two adult children with ADHD who were not diagnosed until high school. Both were good students in elementary school, but started having trouble in middle school or high school when there was a gap between what the school was requiring and what they could do naturally.
Between the two of them, there were other challenges that kind of came along for the ride: learning disabilities, central auditory processing disorder, depression and different medical diagnoses. There were a lot of things that helped: good physicians, psychoeducational assessment, medication, ADHD coaching, therapy, a 504 accommodation plan in high school, and accommodations (like extra time for exams, note taking assistance, etc.) in college.
Despite the multiple diagnoses, my son graduated college and my daughter is in her 4th year. Yes, they had to work harder than others and there were big challenges that made life difficult for us all. But along the way, they have developed a great work ethic (they didn’t have a choice if they wanted to do well), compassion for others who struggle, passion for learning and their work, exercise and meditation habits, self-forgiveness, and a delightful sense of humor.
My advice to other parents out there is this: Don’t give up. With your loving guidance, needed assistance from school, maybe medication, and faith in your kids, they can succeed and live a life of wellbeing and joy.