The story starts at age 45. Well, actually it started at birth but I just figured it out.
All the pieces of the past 45 yrs finally made sense. Why I felt always like I struggled while the person next to me breezed through it. Why I always felt foggy and sleepy. Why I can’t drive long distances or sit through meetings. Why my spouse gets so frustrated with me.
From the outside perspective, I have it made. I am a successful physician, married to the love of my life, two on-the-right-path teenagers, and a stable home life.
That’s on the outside.
On the inside has been a daily struggle for decades of exhaustion, anxiety, a racing mind, feelings of have to work twice as hard to get halfway. Not to mention low self esteem.
So how did I get where I am in life? I don’t know. How did I not see it when I see it others and treat it all the time? Nobody helped me before. Nobody was surprised when I figured it out. After grief comes phase 2: with answers comes peace. Finally.
My name is Carsyn, I am 13, and I have ADHD.
I have been having This disorder my whole life but I found out that I had ADHD when I was 6 or 7. At the moment I didn’t know what it was, all I knew was to take a certain medication everyday before I went to school.
When I went to 2nd grade I started asking my parents what I was taking the medicine for and they told me. After that I thought that I wasn’t any different than others.
When I got to 4th grade I thought it was a good idea to tell people about my disorder but it turned out to be a bad idea. I was bullied, people thought I was weird because I was just a little bit different than them, but now I’m in 7th grade and people expect me for who I am.
Sometimes people can hurt my feelings because they say things that are offensive to me but I just brush it off. But there is nothing wrong with having ADHD and having this disorder has helped me to be myself. I always think about God because he made me this way and he made me unique.
I am the mom of two adult children with ADHD who were not diagnosed until high school. Both were good students in elementary school, but started having trouble in middle school or high school when there was a gap between what the school was requiring and what they could do naturally.
Between the two of them, there were other challenges that kind of came along for the ride: learning disabilities, central auditory processing disorder, depression and different medical diagnoses. There were a lot of things that helped: good physicians, psychoeducational assessment, medication, ADHD coaching, therapy, a 504 accommodation plan in high school, and accommodations (like extra time for exams, note taking assistance, etc.) in college.
Despite the multiple diagnoses, my son graduated college and my daughter is in her 4th year. Yes, they had to work harder than others and there were big challenges that made life difficult for us all. But along the way, they have developed a great work ethic (they didn’t have a choice if they wanted to do well), compassion for others who struggle, passion for learning and their work, exercise and meditation habits, self-forgiveness, and a delightful sense of humor.
My advice to other parents out there is this: Don’t give up. With your loving guidance, needed assistance from school, maybe medication, and faith in your kids, they can succeed and live a life of wellbeing and joy.
La difficoltà di gestione di un figlio ADHD inizia nel momento in cui apre gli occhi e non sempre finisce termina quando si addormentata, visto che mio figlio si sveglia anche la notte.
Noi come genitori cerchiamo sempre di mettere in conto che hanno necessità di tanta pazienza ed energie, ma spesso dopo una giornata passata a lavorare, accontentare la sua instancabilità fisica diventa pesante, tenendo conto che ha una sorella che richiede attenzione come ogni altro figlio.
Quando poi inizia a prevalere la parte provocatoria e oppositiva per noi la giornata diventa abbastanza tragica, non sempre nella tua mente riesci a razionalizzare che è la parte patologica del suo essere a prevaricare sul suo modo di comportarsi, e ciò ci porta a reagire alle sue provocazioni, che spesso sono verbali e tendono ad offendere sia noi che gli altri, in alcuni casi non credo che si debba passare sopra a certe offese che vanno a intaccare sia la nostra autostima, sia la nostra figura di genitore.
The difficulty of managing an ADHD child starts when he opens his eyes and does not always end terminates when asleep, as my son wakes up even at night.
We as parents we try to take into account that they need a lot of patience and energy, but often after a day’s work, to satisfy his physical tireless becomes heavy, considering that he has a sister that requires attention like any other child.
When he begins to prevail defiant and oppositional part for us the day it becomes quite tragic, not always in your mind can rationalize that is the part pathology of his being to prevaricate on his behavior, and this leads us to react to his provocations, which are often verbal and tend to offend both we and the other, in some cases I do not think we should pass on to certain offenses that go to affect both our self-esteem, both our parent figure.
Diagnosed in early 40’s. This after years of struggling to understand why I struggled when others seem to cruise thru.
Long story short. I am now 57 and really its a wonder I am alive. When I was kid they didn’t know about ADD. I struggled thru school (managed to graduate college) but not knowing .. I became hermit abusing drugs and alcohol.. Because with them at least I could have semblance of what I wanted.. A normal life. – Ha! A normal life.. Imagine that. As if sitting in a dark tavern day after day is normal.
Its not fun to want to fit-in but cannot because of this stupid disorder.. Eventually I ended up in AA. its a marvelous organization. After 5 years of sobriety I still knew something was wrong. I went to psych doc and guess what? I had ADD. He have me Adderall and all the sudden I could see after being blind for entire life. I have disappointment that so many years wasted but I can live with it now. I could go on but limit of words here. Good luck to all!
Guy W ADD
My son, Jacob is a 9 year old handful. My little bug. He was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 4 years old. All I could think of is “finally I can get the help I need to help my baby succeed.” We have gone through one on one therapies and we see a psychiatrist. It is a lot of running around, but he is worth it or course. It hasn’t been an easy journey.
I started off refusing medication. I wanted to work through behavioral techniques first.
After a while those failed on us and I moved to medication. That has been the battle for me and my son. Figuring out which meds and how much to give has been the struggle. My son has some other health and mental disabilities, so taking these meds can go one of two ways.
After 5 years of struggling, crying, dealing with tantrums, thoughts of “Why my baby?” “What did he do to deserve this?” we have hopefully found our happy place.
I am so happy now that we have found what works.
My advise to parents that are dealing with this issue is to not give UP!
A child born 7 years ago in a middle class family in Pakistan with a zeal in his eyes and the sparkle to conquer the world; when went to school was unable to even read a word. His parents wanted him to be doctor or an engineer in future; but he had something different in his nature.
He was thrown out of school saying that he needs to see a psychologist. The dreams of parents scattered as he was diagnosed with ADHD co morbid with Dyslexia because ANY SORT OF DISABILITY IS STILL CONSIDERED AS A TABOO IN OUR SOCIETY.
The child was brought to Kazim Trust; a not for profit organization which believes in empowering kids who learn differently. He was given under the assessment of a Professional Clinical Psychologist [name withheld] and within a year he was able to concentrate on reading, learning and writing through positive reinforcement.
Now the child is a happy kid again enrolled in the school and is performing very well with good grades.
Samira Sadiq (Outreach Manager)
I have three children. 13 year old daughter (Trinity), 11 year old son (Trey) and 6 year old daughter (Dakota). When Trinity was in 2nd grade the teacher recommended having her evaluated for ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) due to her inability to stay in her seat and focus.
I was one of those parents who did not believe in medicating my children.
For almost two years we endured family counseling, doctor appointments, teacher meetings and discussions with our Pastor.
Eventually I realized, medicine was the best choice. This is in no way the end of my [our] story. I continue to learn, to advocate and to teach. It is shocking just how much of a stigma there is with mental illness and lack of knowledge, especially in our schools.
Kelli From Nebraska
I wrote this piece shortly after being diagnosed with ADHD with anxiety and depression.
I was 28 years old and knew quite a bit of factual information about ADHD through my job as a special education teacher. I learned that there was so much more to ADHD that I never understood until after I was diagnosed.
I wrote this with both myself and my students in mind. There have been so many moments in my life that I never seemed to fit into and I know most of my students go through the same ordeal.