For adults, an ADHD diagnosis may seem like the reason for all life’s problems. This explanation becomes empowering when it leads to developing and learning supports for living well with ADHD.
For adults learning for the first time that their longstanding problems with time management, organization, impulsivity, memory, and emotional outbursts are due to ADHD can be a huge relief. Finally understanding the source of these lifelong challenges can help the healing journey begin. This explanation, while a relief, only becomes an excuse if the new understanding isn’t channeled into developing supports for living with this new diagnosis. Living well with ADHD involves keeping expectations realistic, taking responsibility for challenges, and learning skills to manage better.
For adults just receiving an ADHD diagnosis, there may be a honeymoon phase where ADHD is seen as a panacea, the explanation for all life’s problems. Re-examining past experiences with this new insight can lead to new understanding and self-compassion. Neurodevelopmental conditions like ADHD interweave with life experiences and can take years to fully appreciate.
Throughout their lives, adults with ADHD stop trusting themselves to follow through. It can become a habit to make excuses and expect others to excuse the behaviour as well. They may focus on their own stories, neglecting the impact of their ADHD on others.
The euphoria from this newfound understanding can lead one to presume others see it, too, expecting they can quickly switch to accommodate ADHD challenges and will stop asking the ADHD person to change. Everyone needs time.
Understanding the role of ADHD allows one to gradually see that it is a valid reason for challenges. Living an empowered life with ADHD builds on this self-acceptance, clearing a path to take responsibility for how one lives well in the world, setting reasonable expectations to ensure success, and gradually building skills to function better.
About the Author
Dr. Elisabeth Baerg Hall is a psychiatrist, University of British Columbia clinical professor, and CADDRA (Canadian ADHD Resource Alliance) board member, who has worked with adults with ADHD for over 15. She is passionate about unlocking the strengths of adults with ADHD and in 2024 launched ADHD Skills Builder, an online, evidence-based program for adults with ADHD.